Thousand years
by mishatippins
Summary: We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone. -Orson Welles This is what happens when I'm tired, sorry


How does one dedicate love to a thing he was engineered to hate? Created to destroy, created to eliminate and exterminate?

Castiel didn't know. In all his thousands of years as an angelic officer and soldier of the Lord, he never knew the feeling of love. His brothers would whisper among themselves of the love their father had for them, talk about how the humans were loved, loving, feeling. The emotions were so foreign to him that he at times confused the soft pitter-patter of his vessel's heart for something medical concerning the body he borrowed, but in the end, he knew. How he knew, how he could feel this strange emotion for her, was beyond him.

When he saw her smoke, he saw something beautiful as the demonic darkness swam under her skin, a repulsive sight beautiful and glorious. He saw a light fighting against that darkness, perhaps brought along from himself, that soon soothed and mingled with her inner self.

An odd connection, he realized.

How could he love her? How could she be the one thing that seemed to anchor him?

Meg wouldn't have those answers. Neither would Sam or Dean. He imagined his Father casting him out calling him filth for sleeping with a demon. He imagined the shock of his brothers when they heard his secret, discovered what he'd fallen so far for.

It didn't help that he wasn't sure she felt the same way as he did, even though she was pressed against his body, the demon asleep beside him, her body slick with sweat and her hair spilled in sticky strands against his chest. He adjusted his head so that he was resting on her shoulder, kissing her arms and running his hands down her sides to her hips, his movements slow and delicate.

She stirred under him, a quick feeling of guilt washing over him as he woke her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, watching her brown eyes open slowly.

"You let me fall asleep."

"You were tired. I figured you wouldn't mind."

She smirked. "Still oh so sweet on me, Clarence."

"I try."

She moaned against his mouth as he leaned over her, kissing her softly while she rolled into him. He moved so that he was atop her, her hands on both cheeks as his tongue pushed her lips apart, feeling him taste that smokiness of her. She seemed nothing like she truly was, instead of hellfire and pain she was a delicate creature he had wrapped in his arms, a drying rose whose petals he desperately tried to save.

He felt the need for her grow as he deepened the kiss, Meg running her hands through his still wet hair and Castiel grabbing at her hips to pull her closer to him.

She felt him grin against her lips and when they pulled apart, the angel was looking at her with an odd face of amusement, his head tilted and his mouth slightly pulled up.

"What was that for?"

"I don't know," he admitted, though she didn't miss that odd glimmer in his eye. "I missed you."

"It's only been a few days."

"Yes. Too long."

He kissed her again, breaking it just to rest his forehead over hers, nose just brushing against his partner's.

"You're gettin' fluffy on me, Cas."

"Have I?"

"It's new. Haven't decided if I like it."

She looked up to see dark blue eyes gazing at her, Cas licking his lips before pressing impossibly closer and hard to her "Will you let me?"

"Let you what?"

"Love you."

She was about to say something when he lowered his head, pressing lips against her neck and feeling her gasp at the slight flash of teeth as he maneuvered over her. The angel was moving so slow, mapping her entire body and gauging every curve and every centimeter of skin.

"There was always something about you," he muttered, dragging down from her neck to her collar bones. "From that first time in the fire. I noticed something about you. Something strange and dark and beautiful."

"Clarence-"

He pulled off her. "For the first time…In a very, very long time, I can feel freely. And I feel this," He lowered his head to her chest. "Everything I feel…is real."

"Oh spare me the poetry."

He blinked at her. "I'm serious."

"When is that new?"

"Meg."

She rolled her eyes, grabbing his face and forcing him to make contact. He unstiffened and melted into her, feeling the kiss and finally laying down on her.

It was a while before they split, Castiel sinking down to rest his head under her neck while Meg complained yet again on how he weighed about three tons, before she felt him fall asleep ontop her.

"Are you fucking me," she growled, but she had to admit the asshole was adorable when he was asleep. "Not such a big bad seraph now are you?"

His reply was another snore, and with a sigh she fell back on the pillow, softly stroking his hair and falling asleep herself


End file.
